You
by Katydid1
Summary: H/G. Harry doesn't want his friends to get hurt because of him, so he is pulling away from them. Can Ginny make him change his mind about leaving? Songfic to Switchfoot's 'You'. A bit mushy, don't say I didn't warn you.


Dislcaimer: The characters belong to J.K.Rowling and the song belongs to Switchfoot.  
  
  
  
'You'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
'There's always something in the way'  
  
'There's always something getting through'  
  
Harry Potter dropped his quill on top of his potions report he'd been working on and dropped his head exhaustedly onto his palms with a loud sigh that echoed around the empty common room. He rubbed his eyes roughly with his palms, trying to quiet the screaming that was still ringing through his head, trying to erase the memories of the nightmare. He had come down to the common room to try and find peace from the haunting scenes by distracting himself with homework.  
  
He pulled his eyes away from his hands to look at the clock hanging above the fireplace. 3:25. He was completely exhausted, but didn't dare go back to bed. Staying up all night was much better than the nightmares. He had already finished all his homework, so he picked up his transfiguration book and just began to read.  
  
'But it's not me'  
  
'It's you'  
  
"When performing this method of transfiguration, it's important to focuse mainly on the...." Harry felt his eyes sliding shut despite his efforts to force them open. He hadn't had a full night's sleep in at least a month. "Kill the spare...." Harry jerked his eyes open forcefully and once again buried his head in his hands, dropping the transfiguration book on the floor. He felt his own damp tears sliding onto his palms.  
  
He heard a quiet thud behind him and whirled around, trying to hurridly wipe away the tears that had been gathering in his eyes. He was shocked to see who was standing there, looking extremely nervous and uncertain. Ginny Weasley was standing at the foot of the stairs leading to the girls dormitory. She still had on her pajamas and a thin robe hanging off her slim shoulders. It was the first time Harry had ever seen Ginny with her hair down, she always kept it in a loose ponytail. He had never seen her look more beautiful.  
  
'It's you'  
  
"Ginny? What are you doing up?" He asked in a surprised voice. 'What a dumb question, Harry, it's not like she's a child.' Harry silently repreminded himself. He'd had a crush on Ginny ever since he'd seen her after the summer of his 4th year, almost two years ago. He hadn't told her yet because at the very same time that Harry started liking her, she appeared to have stopped liking him. She quite blushing whenver he was around, and was able to talk to him in a very smooth voice. Harry had never forgivin himself for taking so long to realize how wonderful Ginny was, maybe if he had noticed a littile sooner, Ginny might still have liked him, too.  
  
'Sometimes ignorance rings true'  
  
'But hope is not in what I know'  
  
'It's not in me'  
  
Ginny smiled weakly in answer to his question. "I could ask you the same thing." She said in that quiet, smooth voice that always drove Harry mad. He smiled thinly back at her. "I'm sorry. I was just surprised to see you." He said with a tired sigh as he leaned back into the couch he was sitting on "How long have you been standing there?" He asked as he stared into the blazing fire, afraid that if he looked at her anymore she would notice that he'd been crying.  
  
Ginny sighed deeply and went to sit down directly next to Harry on the couch Harry took that to mean that she'd been there long enough to know why he was down there. He raised his eyes to meet hers. When he looked into her sky blue eyes he felt like giving in, like telling her everything that had been haunting him for his entire life. About how much he missed the parents he had never known, about how much he wished he could live a normal life with normal worries, about the horrible nightmares he had alsmot every night, about how much he loved her.  
  
'It's in you'  
  
He opened his mouth to start, but shut it again before any words escaped. All his life he had been fighting to surpress his emotions, fighting to hide his feelings whenever he was hurt or scared. He alone had to bear his burdens, he couldn't throw them onto Ginny. But her eyes were pleading with him to let it go, to tell her. It felt as though those birlliant blue orbs were peircing his heart, begging him to realease all the pain that he held there.  
  
He tore his eyes reluctantly away from Ginny's and back to the fire. He blinked back tears that were threatening to fall. "Harry..." Ginny whispered as she leaned forward and laid her thin hand on top of his strong one. Harry bit his lower lip in an attempt to fight back tears. She squeezed his hand softly and he couldn't help turning to look into her eyes again. They were filling up with unshed tears.  
  
'It's in you'  
  
"Please....don't hold on anymore. It's destroying you. He's destroying you." She whispered as the tears spilled out of her eyes and slipped silently down her soft cheeks.  
  
'It's all I know'  
  
Harry shook his head as he turned back to the fire. She didn't understand. "I can't." He whispered in a barely audible voice that no one could have heard unless they were sitting right next to him.  
  
'It's all I know'  
  
Ginny sighed a sigh so full of pain and sorrow that it made Harry's chest ache painfully. Why did things have to be like this? He just wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her forever, to forget about Voldemort and just stay with her and never have to think or worry about anything else again.  
  
'I find peace when I'm confused'  
  
'I find hope when I'm let down'  
  
'But not in me'  
  
"Harry, look at me." Ginny said in a voice so firm and determined that Harry looked back at her.  
  
'In you'  
  
"You can't deny yourself happiness just because of Voldemort. Your parents died so that you could live, and they wouldn't want you to waste your life just because of him." She pleaded. Harry knew that what she said was true. He had pulled away from his two best friends already, not because he didn't need them but because he didn't want them to get hurt. And he would have to do the same with Ginny.  
  
'It's in you'  
  
He missed Ron and Hermione so much. He missed having someone to talk to about what was worrying him. But he knew that the real pain would start when he left Hogwarts, when he wouldn't be able to see Ginny anymore.  
  
'I hope to lose myself for good' ' I hope to find it in the end'  
  
'But not in me'  
  
"No, no I can't." Harry said frustratedly as he stood up quickly, pulling his hand away from Ginny's. He went to stand next to the window and stared out at the black night. But he wasn't seeing the dark grounds, he was seeing his life without Ginny. He knew he couldn't live like that, but he also knew that if anything happened to her because of him he would kill himself.  
  
'In you'  
  
He heard her get up and stand next to him. He had to fight to keep his eyes on the window. "Harry please tell me what's wrong. I know that you still care for Ron and Hermione, and they know it too. Why did you push them away like you did? Please just tell me." She pleaded. He couldn't help himself anymore, he turned to look at her.  
  
'In you'  
  
'It's all I know'  
  
"I love you." It wasn't what he meant to say, but as he looked into her eyes he couldn't keep himself from saying it. He cursed himself silently as soon as he realized what he'd said.  
  
'It's all I know'  
  
'It's all I know'  
  
He was shocked to see a wide smile spread across her face. "Then what's wrong?" She asked, still smliing.  
  
'In you'  
  
"I can't let you get hurt because of me. As soon as I graduate I have to leave. He would kill you, and Ron and Hermione, too." His voice choked painfully. Telling GInny that he had to leave was the hardest thing that he'd ever done. His chest began to ache as he saw tears welling up in her beautiful eyes. At least he wasn't hurting her by leaving. At least she didn't care for him, too.  
  
'It's in you'  
  
"That's our choice to make, Harry. We know there's danger just in being around you, but that's a risk that Ron and Hermione are willing to take, and I am too. I love you too, Harry." Her voice choked with emotion as she tried to wipe away the flow of tears sliding down her face.  
  
'There's always something in the way'  
  
'There's always something getting through'  
  
Harry couldn't help himself. He reached up and gently wiped away some of her tears, which only caused her to cry harder. "Ginny please don't cry." He begged. He couldn't stand to see her in pain "Harry, if you leave you will regret it for the rest of your life. It's better to make memories now that you can look back on with happiness than waste your life away never living at all. If you want to keep me from getting hurt then stay here." She begged him.  
  
'But it's not me'  
  
'It's you'  
  
Harry suddenly realized that she was right. If he lived the rest of his life refusing to allow himself to be happy then he'd be better off dead. He smiled. For the first time since his fourth year he smiled a real genuine smile that made his brilliant green eyes light up the way they always used to. Ginny felt relief flood over her. This was the boy she had fallen in love with. This was Harry.  
  
'It's you'  
  
Harry took a step toward Ginny and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He stopped fighting the tears and let them slide freely down his face. "Thanks, Gin." He whispered softly into her hair.  
  
'It's all I know'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


End file.
